My entire body is shaking. This is so stupid, is the only thought in my head. Why am I even doing this? Why am I an adventure junkie? What was wrong in sitting on sandy beaches and staring at the sea? Behind me, the instructor is getting impatient.
“Point your toes forward, lean your body back, I am holding you and I’ll be the one to push you off.”
I am going to dive in the air and it sounded absolutely ridiculous. Looking down, for what felt like looking down from the tenth floor, my soul was slowly leaving my body. At least there is water down below, if something were to happen. I said this to the instructor too and he made a face. “Actually, if you fall in water with that kind of pressure, the outcome is probably going to be in the negative, and you’ll stop breathing.”
I am about to attempt bungee jumping for the first time in my life. I feel like I am going to fall straight into the laps of the Western Ghats. I have never tasted fear as I did at that moment. And then I step forward, lean my body back, say Bismillah, and I fall. In that moment I am screaming, feeling the most scared I have ever felt in my life, but also the most exhilarated.
From North to South, Goa is home to almost 35 beaches. Not only do we find diversity in the kind of beaches that exist in Goa but also in the fun you experience in those different beaches. While the North beaches are fit for parties, DJs from around the world, and glamorous clubs and restaurants, in South Goa you find peace. With lush green surroundings of Western Ghats and breathtaking waterfalls, it is one of the most sought-after destinations in Asia. The gorgeous Arabian sea, that geographically looks like it is giving a side hug to Goa, makes staying there a joyous experience.
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I spent one month in Goa and when I left, I didn't know I was leaving with deep friendships and a dynamic shift in how I viewed life. Goa's culture is so laid back, with cafes and hostels so cheap, that it is the ideal place to be a nomad. But Goa's people are the heart of this experience. Their love feels like home and the people I met at Goa have made me a happier person and heal so much within myself.
I found myself experiencing the life the different beaches had to offer, slowly moving from North to South. While Goa parties are a rage, at that particular moment in my life, I needed peace. When I got to central Goa, I met some really nice people and was surrounded by some amazing Goans running beach shacks and cafes around that area. My favourite conversationalists were taxi drivers. They spoke about how people who leave Goa always find their way back – no one can bear to stay away for too long.
At that point, I was going through an internal struggle in terms of my career, my body, and who I was. When it came to my career, Goa was the first place where when people asked me what I did for a living, I replied and said I was a writer. Over the course of the month, I had started speaking with more confidence. I was always so uncertain of being a writer, due to the economics of it, despite knowing how it has always been my calling. But Goa’s sense of calm and peace freed something in my heart, and I finally surrendered to my calling.
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Doing big and small adventures – whether it was parasailing or Bungee Jumping, or sitting at the back of a friend’s vespa – felt like I was letting my heart out of a cage. With the more new things I did, I was erasing heartaches and getting less conscious about my size, and leaning into who I was.
After I wrapped up my jump and came down, I smiled into the camera, waving. I then spoke for their video record about my adventure. I read a quote somewhere when I was 13 that said that life is not made up of the number of breaths, but the moments that take your breath away. I remember telling the team “my heart is exploding, I cannot believe what I have just done.”
Just by knowing that I witnessed one of those breathtaking, life changing moments for myself, I realised I had begun to live life like my favourite quote.